Main Goal of Life

Someone asked me this on ask.fm the other day, they said "What is your main goal in life?"

I didn't really have to think about it (thank goodness). This was my reply.

What is your main goal in life?

1) Have a beautiful family that I love and provide for
2) Help others get through life
3) Make a difference in the world
4) Become more Christlike every step of the way

This may look strange for an 18-year-old teenage boy. But those really are my goals of life. 

1) I really can't wait to have a family. I am going to get married at a young age I think. I'll be 20 when I get home from my mission and I'm hoping to be married by 24. I just can't wait to hang out with my best friend every day. She is going to be amazing. I can't wait to find her. And then our kids will be awesome. I want about eight, because big families are fun. I know that'll be hard, and be expensive, but it'll be worth it. Families are key in today's world. They are what keep us from going crazy. I also plan on adopting later in life.

2) I LOVE HELPING OTHERS. I think part of the reason is, is because I struggled to find a purpose in living back in 9th grade, and some people helped me then. But I love just talking to people and seeing what they think, or what they've gone through. I love listening. I love hearing them. I want to listen, feel what they're feeling, and then try to find a solution with them. It's one of my favorite things.

3) I really want to make a difference, whether it just be through my kids, or through my job. I want to do something that change the way people live. I don't know if I'll be satisfied with any other type of job. I want to be influential and improve people's lives.

4) This is what really matters. I want to learn. We came on this Earth to learn and to have experiences. As we make mistakes, we learn what we should be choosing, then make amends and start choosing that way, taking us to a more Christlike life. I strive every day to have more patience, to be kinder, to be more loving, to be perfect, like Christ. I am very far away, but I know I will continue to get closer, a milimeter at a time.

What is death?

Since my happiness post went so well, I thought I'd do one about death.

Death to me...is interesting. One of the hardest things of my life was my Grandfather dying on Christmas eve. It was....extremely hard for me. I loved that man. It was bad timing. It hurt the loved ones around me. It was impossibly hard.

That being said, I do know this. Death isn't the end, rather only a beginning. I believe that we after death, we lived forever still, thanks to Jesus Christ. 

I believe that we can live forever, with our families, in the presence of our Heavenly Father. And actually, that is the point of this life--to return to Him. 

Although death is sad, it is actually happy.

What does it mean to be happy?

Recently, I've been thinking about what it means to be happy. What is happiness? What things make us happy? Why should we be happy?

It's kinda an abstract concept to think about.

My whole life, I've struggled somewhat to be happy, as I'm sure you have at some time in your life. Fighting a small battle against depression and anxiety my freshman year, to becoming the happiest I've ever been as a senior. What have I learned? Why am I happy now? And why was I not happy as a freshman?

There are two key things that stick out in my mind. The first is how you treat others. My freshman year, I was selfish. I didn't care about others. I only worried about myself, only cared about myself, ME ME ME ME.

You can't be happy that way. You just can't. It doesn't work.

My senior year, I decided to be the exact opposite. I decided to love others more than I loved myself. And it changed my life. I still am no the best at it. But caring for others, makes you insanely happy. Being nice to others makes you so happy. Complimenting someone makes me so happy.

In Harry Potter, there is a line that goes something like this "You want to know what a man is truly like, then look at the way he treats the people inferior to him. Look at the way he treats people that can do nothing for him." I truly believe this to be true.

The second thing I owe my happiness to is tough to explain. But it is my relationship with my Heavenly Father, or God.

There are many times in my life where I have asked "God, where are you?" Or "Why are you doing this to me?" There are many times in my life where I have felt forgotten, lost, and worthless. 

I have done and said stupid things because I felt that God no longer cared about me. I thought God did not exist. I though God did not love me, did not know me. 

But I was wrong. He does care about me. He does exist. He does know me, and he does love me. He is present in every part of my life. He communicates with me every day, and I communicate with him. He knows what I'm going through, He knows my name, and He knows my friend's names.

And although, bad things still happen to me. And I occasionally wonder why, I know why now. He let's terrible things happen to me because He loves me. He is making me a better human being.

So back to happiness. Why am I happy?

Because I know that my Heavenly Father loves me, and cares for me. And because I know, it is my job on this Earth, to help others feel happy too. It is my job to tell them who they are, where they come from, and remind them of their worth and beauty.

And what other job is better than that? :)

I love you guys and you are all beautiful in some way.

High School

Well. This is strange because I am no longer a high school student. I am graduated. I am now.... a freshman? No. I am now a missionary. I leave in 74 days? And I couldn't be any happier with that. Over the years, I just want to rememember some fun stuff.

Senior year memories: First football game with RJ Beard, Farnz, Lando, Chase, and T-hey at Timpveiw, the 3rd down jump sign, homecoming pep rally, playing freaking in Idaho against Juventus and playing in the pitch black, and playing pickup football. Doing an amazing christmas service project, doing an even better christmas service project, starting my mission papers. Going to almost every basketball game, working unbelievably hard for soccer, breaking my leg, going to dances, and ending it all this week.

Junior year: The Alta Hawk fake twitter, starting varsity as a junior on a return state championship game, hanging out with Michele Murphy and Steve Miller on the daily. Playing tons of indoor soccer.

Sophomore year: WINNING A STATE CHAMPIONSHIP.

FRESHMAN YEAR: winning a state championship.

It's been fun, but it's time to move on. I'm excited

Mision Video

I go to an awesome high school. We have about 2400 students and I love and treasure each and every one of them.

Many of them have chosen to serve 2-year LDS missions after high school. I had the privilege of making a compilation of all of them opening their calls. We have someone on every continent except for Antarctica. We will learn over 15 languages. Over 125 are serving. 

Here's the video. Hope you enjoy it.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151685793110987&notif_t=like

AP Tests

The past few weeks I have suffered through AP testing. I took 3 AP classes that correspond to 5 different tests. On Friday, I was in the testing room from 7:30 to 4:30, with maybe a 7 minute break for lunch. It was awful. Luckily I got to take my fifth test on the make up day next week so I didn't have to do something similar.

But they'll save me money in college so it's all good. I think I get like 45 semester hours if I pass them all. That's like my associates degree almost. I guess that's what happens when you take 9 AP tests over the years.

I really have learned a whole bunch in those classes that has changed my life. Psychology specifically has taught me how to think. And to better analyze how things are related. And how to associate things. Euro taught me that I hate history and never want to go into it. Calculus taught me that math is my calling and I should for sure become an engineer. Stats taught me nothing. English has taught me to be a better writer. Finally, government has taught me that I don't care about politics and I could never be a lawyer.

Take AP classes. They're fun and challenging. You'll become a better human being. 

My Broken Leg

Pretty sure everyone knows I broke my leg. It's been a truly unbelievable experience. I would just like to talk about it today. Enjoy~!

It was April 2nd, 2013. The first game of region play. We were playing at Jordan. I was playing the best game of the season so far. Sometime during the second half, I got kicked in the side of my leg. I don't remember who, I don't remember when, but I do remember my leg hurting. After the game, I could hardly walk. Coach chewed me out for playing poorly in the second half. I went home, iced, went to bed.

April 3rd, 2013 - honestly, the happiest day of my life. I opened my mission call that day. The absolute thrill of knowing where I will spend the next two years of my life was awesome. My leg really hurt that day, and I had trouble walking up stairs. I tried to practice but I couldn't really run and everything hurt. I tried so hard to play, but ended up sitting on the sideline icing my leg. The trainer said that I probably had a separated calf muscle. But, it didn't matter. My mission call came. Everyone came over to my house. I opened it up. Stockholm Sweden. SWEET. (Another story for another day). I was ready for the next day. The coolest game of the year. Brighton vs Alta at Rio Tinto. I was going to play.

April 4th, 2013 - a date that will forever be engrained in my mind. I iced all through school, I massaged, I used Icy-Hot, I heated, I did anything and everything to get my leg ready. At the game, during JV I just heated in the locker-room. A different trainer had mentioned earlier that day that I may have fractured my fibula. But I wasn't a baby, it probably wasn't broken, and he said I could play on it, even if it was broken. I thought it was just a bruise or a muscle. I never actually thought it was broken. I had the trainer tape it and I started to warm up. It kinda hurt still, but it was doable.

I started that game, unknown to me, on a broken leg.

I played the first minute and thirty seconds when on a throw in, with a club team mate guarding me, I spun to my right, placing all my weight on my right leg, and a crazy amount of pressure on my fibula as my body turned to my right. At the same time, I was kicked right where it was broken. The turn and impact together did it. I felt it break. I fell down, pretty confident that it was broken. But I did not give up. I got back up. I got back up. I got back up. I tried to walk on it. I struggled. But I fought through the pain. I kept playing. I got the ball passed to me. I quickly passed it to Alex Temptest. A shot of excruciating pain shot up my leg. The ball landed at my foot again. I wound up and shot as hard as I can from about 20 yards away. The ball went no where and my leg felt like it was being bit by the flaming mouth of thousands of scorpions who had just eaten a ghost pepper. I was done. I couldn't do it. I called for a sub and limped off the field. I asked the trainer to retape it so I could go back in. Coach wouldn't let me. I went and sat down, and just bawled. I wanted to play in this game. I wanted to beat Brighton. I didn't want to watch. I remembering looking up to the sky and saying "Dear God, please do not let my leg be broken. Please, oh please do not let it be broken. But never the less, not my will, but thine by done."We lost, 1-0 on a PK that game. It was hard for me to watch.

After the game, my mom drove me to a clinic to get my leg X-rayed. When the nurse came back into the room and said, "I'm so sorry. It's broken." I did not believe her. I truly didn't think I had broken it. I was walking on it (limping). It did not look broken. How could it be broken. She wheel-chaired me to the X-ray room where my leg was projected onto a screen. Sure enough, a crack straight through my bone. I sat there and tears started to fall. I knew I was done. I would never play high school soccer every again. The nurse left. And I looked at my mom. I said "Mom. I'm never going to play soccer ever again." And she looked back and said "I know. I am so sorry." And we hugged. We hugged like we never have before. We held the embrace for minutes, both of just sobbing. She just repeated. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I left the clinic with a boot and crutches, and a broken soul.

For the next four weeks, I would have to deal with a boot and crutches. People underestimate how hard it is to move on crutches and how frustrating they can be. When you lose a leg, you also lose your hands because of crutches. You can't do anything and walk at the same time. Your crutches fall constantly. Your arms get so tired. Your friends go and play basketball or go on a hike and you sit there. You lose all your muscle and gain lots of fat because it is impossible to work out in any way. It is hard. I will not say it was easy. It was trying physically and emotionally.

There were some days when I would curse God for doing this. Why me? Why my senior year? Why when I was a captain? Why did it have to happen to me? I didn't understand sometimes. I wanted it to be someone else. I was bitter. I hated it. I will be honest, I was not happy at first. But I realized, God has a plan for me. He loves me. He knows what's best for me. His plan is better than mine. Immediately, I became extremely grateful for this opportunity. I was going to learn so much about patience. I was going to learn so much about myself. I was going to learn about my friends. This was a learning and growing experience.

6 weeks later, I want to tell you what I've learned:
1) I have a Heavenly Father. He loves me so much that he'll put me in hard situations so I can grow closer to him. I know so much more about the Atonement of Jesus Christ. He not only suffered for my sins, and died so I can live after death. But he also felt every pain I have felt. He felt my leg get kicked. He felt the top half of the bone grinding on top of the bottom half. He felt my emotional pain of having to watch my team lose. He felt the frustration of having your crutches fall. HE FELT ALL OF IT. And I could know that if he went through it, so can I.

2) God has a plan. Sometimes life doesn't go the way you want it to, and it is okay. It'll all work out for you in the end. God is setting you up for the greatest happiness you can feel. So don't worry, when things go wrong. EVERYTHING IS ACCORDING TO PLAN.

3) I have some amazing friends. Stephen Hawks, Megan Skalla, Macie Gee, Claire Anderson, Michele Murphy, and RJ Beard deserve immense shout outs for loving me and caring for me.

4) I didn't have to be sad. I could choose happiness.

I want you all to know that I love my broken leg. I love that trail. It has made me a better human being. I thank my Heavenly Father for it. I want you to know I have an immense testimony that I have a Father in Heaven, who loves me and who is involved in my life. I know that Christ came to this Earth and sacrificed himself so that he could learn what it felt like to be me. I love you all. Thank you for reading.